Could you hand me that shotgun buddy, Also that chair?

During my time in high school. Acquiring friends, or at least people that I enjoyed being around and that I presume enjoyed my company, was not very difficult. I don't mean for this to sound pretentious or conceded in any way. I think that because I was in Band in high school I automatically had a group that I could identify with and they with me. We were all outsiders, but, we where all outsiders together. Over time we became more accepted among out peers, and the relationships between band members and other cliques began to spread. By my senior year, members of the band were being elected to the student offices and were in some of the most popular clubs in the school. Some of these friendships would end after high school.

When I talk about friends I do not mean some one that will just call to go to a movie or go out for a night on the town. The people that I truly consider friends are the ones that will call to see if you are home and then show up and little while later, they are the ones that just come over with no expectation of going and and doing anything except sit on the couch.

After high school comes what many people call "the real world". After a few years of living at home and going to college everything was still really nice because my core group of friends all still lived in the same city. However after college everyone has moved away from home and we have all separated.

I say all this because today I suddenly had and awakening. I had those friends. I no longer do. I have now lived away from my group of friends for five years, and have done nothing in that time to find other friends where I live now. This saddens me. I blame it on myself and my personality.

I have an addictive personality, and that mainly shows itself in video games. I can routinely come home after work and play games for five hours a day. I have realized that my desire to speak to the people that I have met on there and consider friends can not replace the presence of an actual person. My desire to play games has caused some of the largest failures in my life thus far. Part of me feels that it is slowly destroying other aspects of my life, and I will not let that happen.

On July 1st, I will not play any games for at least a month. After that who knows, I just need to stop wasting my time on things that, in the long run, do more damage than good.